Individual patterns of sex and love addiction vary. Patterns of recovery also vary. Generally, recovery form our bottom-line behavior means the return of choice, sanity and personal dignity through working the S.L.A.A. program of recovery. As we work the Steps and use the tools of the program—including meetings, our sponsor, S.L.A.A. literature, telephone contacts, and giving service—we begin to notice some of the following signposts on our road to recovery:

1. We seek to develop a daily relationship with a Higher Power, knowing that we are not alone in our efforts to heal ourselves from our addiction.
2. We are willing to be vulnerable because the capacity to trust has been restored to us by our faith in a Higher Power.
3. We surrender, one day at a time, our whole life strategy of, and our obsession with, the pursuit of romantic and sexual intrigue and emotional dependency.
4. We learn to avoid situations that may put us at risk physically, morally, psychologically or spiritually.
5. We learn to accept and love ourselves, to take responsibility for our own lives, and to take care of our needs before involving ourselves with others.
6. We become willing to ask for help, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and learning to trust and accept others.
7. We allow ourselves to work through the pain of our low self-esteem and our fears of abandonment and responsibility. We learn to feel comfortable in solitude.
8. We begin to accept our imperfections and mistakes as part of being human, healing our shame and perfectionism while working on our character defects.
9. We begin to substitute honesty for self-destructive ways of expressing emotions and feelings.
10. We become honest in expressing who we are, developing true intimacy in our relationships with ourselves and others.
11. We learn to value sex as a by-product of sharing, commitment, trust and cooperation in a partnership.
12. We are restored to sanity, on a daily basis, by participating in the process of recovery.

Taken from the pamphlet ‘Addiction and Recovery’. Copyright © 1990 The Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide Services, Inc., 1550 NE Loop 410, Ste 118, San Antonio, TX 78209, United States. All rights reserved. Permission for publication pending 10531011.